Notes on life, philosophy, and medicine

I wonder if going through this moment, I've learned anything since the last - because right now it feels like the hard press of a finger on a scab ready to tear away at all the layers of healing that has been done - already a small piece was ripped out leaving a slight ooze of blood and dead tissue. Though I'll be darn if I let it. If I could take away anything from this past weekend, it would be to lean into the chaos; and staring at my wilted potted plant, to not forget to water it daily through this beautiful, warm summer heat. I hope to stop and wonder in moments of chaos; I hope to live and love fully present through it all. I'll keep praying for signs of wonder, to know in my heart and in my thoughts, that God's presence is near and I can lean into the peace that He offers in our broken but beautiful humanity. 

up again. i know i just wrote earlier today, but this is the first time i've been up at 1:25am in awhile... picking up where I left off, where I often leave off. I came downstairs to write and yet I found myself spending an easy 2 hours distracted with an online search for escape/with lofty plans and little to show for it. I could have probably written a novel by now. I love this. Love the feeling of letters into words beneath my fingers like I have something valuable to say like what I say may never have been said before but it all has. what makes up a great mind? is it simply the perfect storm of place/time that allows minds that wander to come to fruition? I can't imagine any mind being less than only limited by our own doing and not allowed the breath of life that is a God given to all who accept it. so, my life today: 22 days till Christmas 2019, some near 36 years has passed and I'm sitting between a 3 foot Christmas tree that we scored for free 5.5 years ago at s...