Notes on life, philosophy, and medicine

I wonder why saying these things out loud feels so difficult. Ask me what I do for work, and I hesitate—why? Is it humility or a quiet fear of not being good enough? And as a woman? Gosh, even that label feels distant at times. I love my childish ways, my wonder—so what does it really mean to be a woman? Have I lacked the role models to fully claim it, or is it something else? Then, there is God. Maybe it's the deep knowing that I am not enough—but isn't that exactly where God works? And so, with great hope, I say that I believe. But do I still have doubts? Can my character, my actions, my fruits truly reflect that I am a daughter of Christ? Do I fear the world’s response to standing in my faith? The threads of my heart and mind are loosely connected, but they are there. Some days, I find the confidence to say these things. To believe, to trust, to pray that I can be as competent as I hope to be. This is me—outside the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, wearing my Adventure in Family M...

My mind is in a state of constant dull numbness, I can’t tell if I’m supposed to be asleep or awake; but I can’t seem to do either. There’s a rolling list of things to do and I’m not quite sure how or in what order to do them without losing the state of present mindfulness. Trying to work out the details of what happened in Viet Nam and how to clarify the questions I had hoped to answer about health and well-being and of being a service to others while understanding the roots of my past and present future…